In a just world, the day Donald Trump walked out of the White House and boarded a plane headed for Mar-a-Lago would have been the last time we heard from the 45th president or his family ever again. At the very least, it would have been nice for Trump to have been banned from getting within 200 feet of the nuclear codes, on account of both the failed coup and his habit of saying things like “this is a tough hurricane, one of the wettest we’ve ever seen, from the standpoint of water,” one of many examples of obvious cognitive impairment. Unfortunately, not only is the guy who (1) sicced a fascist mob on the Capitol and (2) thinks the stock market is a person still eligible to hold office, his entire extended clan is as well. And some are actively threatening to inflict themselves on the U.S. government.
In an interview with Sean Hannity on Tuesday, Lara Trump, Eric Trump’s wife and Donald Trump’s daughter-in-law, said she is “absolutely” considering running for Senate in North Carolina. Like her father-in-law when he announced his candidacy for the White House, Lara has no experience whatsoever working in government, though she is skilled in whipping out right-wing talking points the Trump base eats up. In April 2019, she called German chancellor Angela Merkel’s decision to accept refugees “the downfall of Germany” and “one of the worst things to ever happen” to the country that started World War II. In 2020, she hit the campaign trail in support of her husband’s father with far-right conspiracy theorist Laura Loomer, who describes herself as a “proud Islamophobe.” Naturally, she actively took part in the effort to overturn the results of the 2020 election. More recently, it was reported that an animal-rescue charity linked to Lara spent nearly $2 million at Donald Trump’s properties. (Charitable shadiness is a family affair for the Trumps—in 2019, Donald’s charity was forced to shut down and pay $2 million for illegally using the foundation’s funds, while Eric, Ivanka Trump, and Donald Trump Jr. were required to undergo mandatory training to learn how not to rip off charities moving forward. In a statement at the time, an attorney for the Trump Foundation claimed the group had been trying to “to dissolve and distribute its remaining assets” since 2016, which is really neither here nor there. A 2017 Forbes report also alleged that Eric Trump’s foundation had misappropriated money intended to benefit pediatric cancer. A spokesperson for Eric Trump’s foundation insisted the charity had been transparent about where funds were going, and that “relevant donors whose money was given to causes…were made aware the funds would be donated elsewhere.”)
More recently, Lara was in the news complaining about how social networking sites like Twitter and Facebook “suppress the voices of conservatives,” hence Donald Trump’s need to start his own platform where people can post without fear of “the fact-checkers being all over them”:
Lara, of course, is not the only Trump mulling a run for office. In addition to her father-in-law’s threat to run again in 2024, her sister-in-law, Ivanka, has reportedly had her eyes on the White House since 2016. (In a storyline straight out of a horror film, Trump allies are said to be pushing him to dump Mike Pence if he runs for a second term and pick a woman as his running mate. Like, say, the daughter with whom he has a deeply creepy relationship.)
And speaking of the ex-first daughter’s political ambitions: over the weekend the Daily Beast suggested that Ivanka has been hard at work attempting to “redeem” and “rebrand” herself, given her current reputation as a rioter-praising poster child for nepotism who doesn’t let the people guarding her life use the bathroom.
Unfortunately, not everyone thinks a rebrand is possible, for physiological reasons:
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Mississippi Senator: Voting on Sunday is offensive to God
At present, the Republican party is desperately trying to restrict voting access for millions of individuals who might vote for Democrats (namely, Black and brown people). Usually, their arguments for doing so have centered around baseless claims of voter fraud, but on Wednesday, Senator Cindy Hyde-Smith came up with a new one: letting people vote on Sunday—which many Black churches have done for years—is sacrilege:
As Georgia’s Bishop Reginald T. Jackson told NPR on Monday, Sunday voting is a tradition for congregants of Black churches, which regularly hold “Souls to the Polls“ events following services. “We gather in our churches on Sunday morning, you have morning worship and then after the service you get on the church buses, church vans, get in cars and people go to vote,” he said. “It’s a very effective way the Black church has of getting out our vote.” Considering the overwhelming percentage of the Black community that votes for Democrats, you can see why Hyde-Smith would want to avoid that!
Major and Champ Biden have returned to the White House
The boys are back in town:
In an interview with ABC, Joe Biden claimed that Major’s trip to Delaware had been pre-planned and that he “did not bite someone and penetrate the skin.” It’s unclear if that means the alleged bite was more of a nip or if this whole thing is some kind of coverup that we’ll need Deep Throat-level sources to get to the bottom of.
Elsewhere!
New evidence suggests ‘alliance’ between Oath Keepers, Proud Boys ahead of Jan. 6 (Politico)
Stephen Miller is running a shadow war against Biden. It’s based on deceptions. (Washington Post)
New York officials reach agreement to legalize marijuana (NYP)
Trump and Don Jr. Lawyer Up for Eric Swalwell’s Jan. 6 Riot Lawsuit (The Daily Beast)
Trump vaccine chief Slaoui fired from pharma board over sexual harassment allegations (Politico)
One of the world’s biggest ships got stuck sideways in the Suez Canal, blocking traffic (Washington Post)
Credit Suisse is giving junior bankers special $20,000 bonuses, raises after Goldman analyst revolt (CNBC)
This year’s Cadbury Easter Bunny is actually a frog named Betty (NBC)
Website offers $1,000 to binge watch all 24 James Bond films (UPI)
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— From the Archive: The Day Before Tragedy
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