Well, that was awfully convenient. Batwoman Season 2 Episode 8 is a master class in tragic serendipity with some Vampire Diaries dagger shenanigans thrown in.
Not to say that Ocean and Tatiana are vampires but, honestly, at this point, would it really be a surprise?
There’s a lot to be said for the telenovela relationships on Coryana, and I promise I’ll get around to saying it, but we need to address OUR elephant in the room.
What the heck sort of planes are they using if they can make it from Gotham (canonically based on New York City) to the Mediterranean Sea in less than six hours?
Let’s start at the end for the fun of it. There are a lot of crazy twists flying around by the last act.
First, the Desert Rose. Alice torched the field.
Assuming that it was the only field of Desert Rose plants on all of Coryana and that their liberal use of ammonium nitrate fertilizer seals the deal, Safiyah’s precious inventory has been reduced to the few plants that she had in her palace.
Which begs the question of why she needed so many plants if it was a commodity that was guarded on pain of death, mind-wipe, and/or eternal imprisonment.
Oh, and then there’s the one little plant in Gotham.
Bought by Angelique for Ryan and brought to bloom by an assassin’s attempt on Mary and Luke’s life.
So convenient, with a Gift-of-the-Magi flair.
And again, how fast is Jacob going to fly that plane to get his sworn enemy wearing his daughter’s costume back to Gotham so she can be cured by the plant from the island that was supposed to give him back said daughter?
I’ve given up trying to follow the medical “science” of this show but math should still be dependable.
Alice’s change of heart regarding killing Kate wasn’t super surprising considering how everyone, but EVERYONE, felt the need to psychoanalyze her.
First, there was Safiyah with the argument that Alice just wants to be loved.
Maybe, deep down, in the dangerous musings of your id, there’s the compulsion to kill her because she’s more loved than you. And if you kill here, as irrational as it sounds, you think that that will transfer to you.
Safiyah
Fair enough, don’t we all?
However, it’s a helluva leap to go from “I want to be loved” to “I’ll kill my sister so everyone who loves her will love me.”
Unless, of course, that was part of the hypnotic programming that Safiyah had Enigma place in Alice’s head.
Then, Batwoman takes a swing at speaking for Alice’s issues.
And maybe she was on target with the diagnosis that Alice wouldn’t kill Kate because she’d be responsible then.
As dark and screwed up as you are, at the end of the day, you’re a victim of somebody too.
Batwoman
Choosing the Desert Rose over Kate Kane’s life seemed pretty pragmatic on the surface, but Ryan feels pretty certain that she got through to Alice, much to Tatiana’s chagrin.
Take it from an Island lifer, self-sacrifice is over-rated.
Tatiana
Random question: why was Ryan moved up to the hillside? Seems a weird place to take a guarded prisoner, even one who is on death’s doorstep.
Oh, oh, oh! And that brings us to Tatiana and the whole frame-up dealy.
I’m kind of on Safiyah’s side on this. Seems to me that Safiyah had done her best to move on from the Alice and Ocean messiness. Mind-wipes and exiles are pretty effective overall.
Tatiana appears to be the one fixated.
Mind you, it was a pretty ballsy act of opportunism as it was never established that she had anything to do with Kate’s plane’s explosion.
Still, the Desert Rose Dagger is a very CONVENIENT way for Safiyah to keep people she’s annoyed with on ice. It also lets her appear merciful when she pulls the blade out to wake them up.
Slipped into the mix is Tatiana acting as the voice of conscience regarding the Crows and their mandate.
Tatiana: You’re skilled, strong, and, most of all, loyal. She wants you to join her army.
Sophie: Why the hell would I join an army of ruthless killers?
Tatiana: Because you’re already a part of one. His. Both groups are organized, armed, and dangerous, but we are committed to protecting our people, while you oppress yours.
Although her message got through to Sophie, it appears that Jacob is determined to be deaf, dumb, and blind about everything in his life.
With one daughter psychotic, another dead (for the moment), and the third keeping secrets about medical clinics and working with vigilantes, he’s really only got the Crows left as a legacy.
If he wasn’t so freakin’ frustrating, I’d feel sorry for him.
It was nice to see Julia again. I’ve been missing her, and her appearance in time to dispatch the assassin was very — say it with me — convenient.
That she also had to be the bearer of Kate’s-really-and-truly-dead news was unfortunate.
And, of course, that news may prove bunk as evidenced by the faceless body in the sewers wearing Kate’s necklace.
If I had a nickel for every bad penny.
Alice
Although we’ve had a few loose ends tied up, I’m still left with questions.
If we have a body and a Desert Rose in the same city, does that mean we have a potential resurrection?
How long is that body supposed to hang out there? We know already that the rats (and bats) of Gotham are efficient little critters.
Is this the last we see of Safiyah, or is she coming after Ryan’s plant next?
A ruler doesn’t get to play by the whims of her emotions, Alice.
Safiyah
Noting that we’re approaching the halfway mark of the season, I suspect the attention will be shifting to the Snakebite and Black Mask plotline.
Whether that involves bodies in sewers and/or a Many Arms versus False Faces showdown, we’ll have to wait and see.
How exactly do Mary, Julia, and Luke dispose of the assassin’s body? Can they just prop her on the curb? Does Gotham City Sanitation do a pick-up for that sort of thing?
Batwoman: This would be a lot easier if we had a Batplane.
Mary: That’s what I’ve been saying.
Luke: I’ll get right on that after I work out the kinks in the Batsub.
As you watch Batwoman online, come on back and let me know if you’ve got some burning questions of your own.
Diana Keng is a staff writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.