Survey Dubs Prince William As Sexiest Bald Man

Pop Culture
Some social media users question the accuracy of this declaration.

An oft-repeated story (particularly by the folically-challenged) goes like this: a reporter asked Gene Roddenberry about casting Patrick Stewart as Captain Jean-Luc Picard in his then-new series Star Trek: The Next Generation. “Surely by the 24th century, they would have found a cure for male pattern baldness,” the producer was asked. “No, by the 24th century, no one will care,” came the response.

We’re not there yet, but as time marches on, popular culture is growing to celebrate physical attributes and body types that, years ago, may not have been considered appealing to beauty gatekeepers. In short, anyone can be a sexually objectified now (wait, is that good?) and a recent hotness survey, published in The Sun, has announced that Prince William is the sexiest bald man.

The determination was made somewhat scientifically, they say, by analyzing Google searches and articles that included the keyword “sexy.” Prince William notched 17.6 million such returns.

The survey was initiated by a surgical group called Longevita, which provides, ironically enough, hair transplants. Maybe someone didn’t quite think this through.

While the Duke of Cambridge took highest honors, the others in the top five were Mike Tyson, Jason Statham, Pitbull, and Michael Jordan. The back half of the top 10 were Floyd Mayweather, John Travolta, Bruce Willis, Dwayne Johnson, and Vin Diesel.

Sexy baldness is in the eye of the beholder, of course, but many social media users were quite incensed at the results of this poll that nobody knew was coming. More than anyone else, Stanley Tucci stans came out in force to make their complaints heard, with the following tweet summing it up best.

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